you dont need to read this.....not really.....but i need to write it.

i am super depressed. again. dislike my life. i dont wanna be here. im so confuzed. i have no idea what im doing. i just do what i feel like latly, all on a wim, but i know some ppl who are not gonna be so happy in a while becuase of it. but that doesnt stop me. thouhg it worries me.

i have friends who seem to hate me. and friends who seem to love me. i have pll i wish i loved. and ppl i wish i could hate. i have ppl i want to love but no one will let me. and ppl others say i should love but im just so utterly confuzed that i dont know if can.

i dont wanna be here. i havent for a loooooong time.
ive become addicted to bluffing. cause it makes ppl happy and not ask questions. it makes life just the slightest bit smoother.

i feel disconnected. and overconnected. and put in all the wrong places. with all the wrong expectations. im never gonna suceed. im too obsessed with the wrong things.

im fat. and im ugly. and its NOT my time of the month. go away. no, please stay. just stand there and let me hug you. dont look at me. just smile so i can forget. or so i can remember whats really important. i dont know. you figure it out, for once. i dont have the energy to. and even if i did, i dont think i could.

thanks. sorry. bye.